The Gentleman's Reticule

That coy little game I play with myself has just ended in what could best be described as a draw.  It begins every time I want something I can’t really afford.  I spend a few days with a sweaty resolve to be good and save my pennies while jigging like a squash-filled infant; then with a whimper I give in and guiltily splurge.  It’s a merry dance, designed to pre-emptively punish my appalling lack of control with a few days of grumpy, self imposed withholding.  Anyway, all this is to say that I finally have Left 4 Dead 2.  Hurrah!  But I’m not playing it.  We have fallen out.

It’s not entirely the game’s fault; it’s obviously a well made, well written title but I’ve been prevented from enjoying it by a parade of incompetent online team mates.  This may be due to the fact that the game has only just been released and the community is busy getting to grips with it but still…  When you have to wait an age for gumpy companions to simply move forwards, or suffer the stings of yet another incompetent Molotov, the warming glow of the game’s visuals and level design starts to fade.  Am I being overly misanthropic?  Impatient?  Arrogant?   I’m probably coming across as elitist as well, but I must stress that I’m usually the one messing up and lagging behind when I team up with the folks on my Steam list; I’ve committed more incidents of friendly fire than a pack of spontaneously combusting labradors.  I’m sorry, you’ll have to forgive my sulkiness, but this frustration only arises from a desire to experience the game at its best.  In a way, L4D2 is cursed by its meticulous atmosphere and dramatic potential.  Anything which spoils it is like finding a poo in your dressing gown pocket: disturbing and extremely annoying.  The emphasis is obviously on team play and when this fails to cohere, so does the game.

I hope the situation improves as the player base increases and people get more familiar with it, I’m sure it will.  For the moment, however, I hesitate to click ‘play online’, it’s often just too much of a disappointment.